Feeling Thankful

I have a lot to be thankful for.

These last couple of weeks have been a little rough for me. Between being overwhelmed at work and school and trying to be a good daughter, sister, and friend, I kind of lost my sanity for a minute. I over worked myself to the point where I got sick last weekend and I'm still trying to fight off the last of whatever bug I managed to catch. This time of year is usually pretty stressful, but I just feel like it's worse this year. Coping with the sale of my childhood home has been harder than I thought; it's brought up a lot of residual grief for my dad. I've been missing him more than usual lately. I feel like I am losing the balance I had between work, school, family and friends; work and school have kind of taken over and I haven't had much time for myself. I haven't read part of my new book in weeks. I haven't been able to sit down and watch more than 1 episode of something on Netflix of Hulu without feeling guilty for not doing any schoolwork or projects for work. Luckily, I have been able to keep in touch pretty regularly with my family and friends back home, and my friends here in Chicago have been wonderful. Last weekend when I had my little mental breakdown, I knew I needed to cheer up ASAP or else I was going to start spiraling down a dark road that I have not been on in years and have had no desire to ever travel down again. I sent a snapchat to all of my close friends basically saying I had been in a funk all weekend and I needed to cheer up and I wanted their help. Every single person I sent it to (I think I sent it to almost a dozen people) replied back with either a funny moment from their day, a funny memory of something we had done together (S/O to Bailey for her memory of one of our first weekends pet-sitting at my first apartment in EL... that was pure gold!), or texted me asking how I was doing or if something was wrong and what they could do to help. In just a short amount of time, I went from crying uncontrollably and feeling like nothing would put a smile on my face to laughing my ass off and smiling from ear to ear. I am truly thankful for all of my friends because in that moment, I knew that they cared for me and wanted to see me happy. Then I got to thinking about everything else in my life that I have to be thankful for and that in reality, it was kind of dumb for me to be upset over basically nothing like I was. Here is an incomplete list of the things that came across my mind that I am forever thankful for:

1. My family. I have a huge, loud, loving family that I wouldn't trade for anything. Although sometimes they can irritate me and cause some drama, at the end of the day, family is family and no matter what they have my back.

2. My friends. To my friends back home (Bailey, Katie, Natalie, and Alicia), my friends that are far away (Courtney is in Texas, Simon is in NYC), and my friends here in Chicago (Jake, Emily, Justin, Katy, Bryce, Kiesha, Jeff, and so many others): thank you. You mean more to me than you know.

3. My fur babies. Binx is my precious furry child that lives with me in Chicago and she always knows when I'm feeling down. Thanks for the cuddles, ILY. Ava, my sweet pup back home, I miss you more than you know and the pictures mom and Tess send me make me miss you even more. It broke my heart when I was FaceTiming last week and you looked around for me so helplessly when you heard me on the phone :( I'll see you soon baby girl. And fat lard Frankie, my other cat back home, thanks for keeping Tess company and for letting her become your "human". I feel so bad I just left you to go to college and grad school even though I'm the reason we have you. I love you more than you know. 

4. I have so many places to call home. My apartment here in Chicago is great. I have a home in DBH, and soon enough I'll have another one in New Boston and another wherever my sister ends up. I have another one in Grand Ledge with the Pullum's. I have one in Arizona with Aunt Sherry and Uncle Ralph. 

5. I have a college degree, I am working towards another degree, and I have the means to support myself.

6. Although I have been sick for the last week, my health is otherwise very good. It could always be worse. 

7. Coffee. You and me coffee, til death do us part. Bae.

In all seriousness, sometimes it takes a dark moment for a person to take a step back and realize what matters most to them. I did that and I feel like I am in a better place now.